Things I Hate, Dishwasher Safe

There are certain kitchen use type items on the market that carry a little note on them advising you that they are safe to place in your dishwasher. Some items make no mention what so ever as to their dishwasher status and yet others strongly caution you against putting them in the dishwasher.
I never look for these little pieces of advice.
I let the dishwasher sort them out for me.
I don’t have time to read every little note on every single cup or bowl or plate before putting it in the dishwasher. Can it not be assumed that if I run something through the dishwasher and it comes out in pieces that it wasn’t dishwasher safe? Good! Once it is identified as so, then it doesn’t make much difference if it’s broken because it was going to wind up in the trash anyway. I need dishes that are as tough as I am. Dishes that don’t need any special attention.
“Get your candy ass in there with the other dishes and stop whining about special treatment!” I say.
I hate people who think that they are special and need treated differently than anyone else, so why would I accept it from a bunch of dishes? I paid for those dishes. I OWN those dishes and if I want them in the dishwasher then that is where they damn well will go. If they can’t hack it and wind up breaking or cracking then good. At least the weaker, non hackers will be weeded out. Then the survivors will have proved themselves worthy of bearing my next plate of Hamburger Helper or my next bowl of Top Ramen.
What’s in a dishwasher that makes it such an unsafe place anyway? You got some water a little arm that sprays that water around…. Where is the danger? It seems a lot safer than being banged around in a sink before being attacked with a steel wool scratch pad. I mean, it’s not like there are wild animals or little kids (basicly the same thing, I know) roaming around in there.
Who would make a dish that can’t be put in a dishwasher anyway?
Gee, I think we should design a really cool car with all kinds of neat features but it can’t be ran through a car wash. NO!
Let’s creat a delicious cake mix that can be mixed up and baked at home. Oh, but you can’t mix it with an electric mixer it must be done by hand. NO!
I think the whole non dishwasher safe thing is just a way for companies to make you think that their dish is just a little finer than your other dishes.
It’s a premium, delicate dish that must not, under any circumstances, go in a dishwasher. How harsh. How unrefined. A dishwasher. Not our dish. It would scrub the fineness right away if it were ever introduced into the hostile lower class world of a dishwasher. That’s where your coffee mugs go and all those Coke glasses you got with your meal at McDonalds for only a $1.99 more when you supersized it. Go ahead, put your glass ashtrays in there and your plastic cups that your beer came in at the last baseball game that you were too cheap to just throw away. No, our dish was meant for higher things than those lowly “trailerpark” dishes. Therefore, we demand you treat them as such.
Whatever.
I still say, “Get your candy ass in there with the other dishes and stop whining about special treatment!” “I OWN you so I’ll be the one in charge here!”
Fortunately my wife has never entered the room while I was having it out with one of these dish snobs. She may find my exchange of words with dishes a little disturbing so it’s best that she not be subjected to it. This is one of those areas I believe to be “Mans” work or “Dirty” work. It’s more pleasant if the women folk were left oblivious to this crude and sometimes cruel fact of life. You know, like it’s the man of the house who must put the old, blind and struggling family pet out of it’s misery or the man who must put down the horse who’s broken it’s leg or it’s the man who must deal with the bat that’s flying around your ho………well, come to think of it, I don’t think bats….. never mind. You get the picture right?
While I’m on the topic I feel I should go ahead and point out that clothes are the same way. They try and tell me how to wash MY clothes. Well the day that they start paying for my clothes is the day I’ll follow their directions in how to care for them.
I take an arm load of clothes and pack them in the washing machine and pour a cup of Tide over the top and turn the thing on and walk away. When it is done I pull the wet clothes out and stuff them in the dryer, throw in a dryer sheet, turn the thing on and walk away. When the dryer is done I slowly use each item out of the dryer as I need it. Why take up drawer space and time when the clothes are perfectly safe and protected in the dryer?
(The same goes for the dishwasher. Once it is done, what’s wrong with just using clean dishes out of the dishwasher? It is a kind of cabinet isn’t it? Probably a more convenient cabinet than your real cabinets because it has those racks that slide in and out for easy access.)
If I pull out a shirt that shrunk or underwear that have turned blue or red then good. It’s best I find their weakness out now than to find out they’re going to fail me while I’m wearing them. I can get rid of them and replace them with the tough and worthy kind of clothing that I demand.
Don’t let the people who take your money tell you what to do. If you’ve paid for that stuff and you own it then you have the right to do with it as you see fit. If their product can’t stand up to the test then don’t buy it anymore. Get something that is as tough as you are.